a dream of jade, ba cang and kopi-o...

i dreamt of her a few nights ago
her smile that warm every single heart in the household
the small, fine wrinkles on her face that adds to her wisdom
her old school specs that seen so many things in life
her ever beautiful jade jeweleries
that became her signature look
all of that
i see it so clearly that night

i remember the day
when all hearts shattered
when the news break in
no one could take it in without breaking down
no one could stand in a pose so calm and collected
i remember the minute they brought her back
the sound of grief
the many tear drops that filled the house that night
i remember the moment i stare at her for the last time
and know clearly this would be the last
i hold back those tears so badly that i cried in silence
i remember the very last day when she was with us
the last trip that all of us accompany her
for the very first time
i saw tears of the one man
that i've always see as the toughest man in my life
the man that i respect so much
look up to so much that
looking at the devastation he went through
breaks every emotion of mine
i remember the very moment of all these taking places
so clear in the memory box of mine
that it feel like it was yesterday

truth?
been years since she left
all those tears were all cried out
all those heartache was over and done with
nothing left but memories
memories of the delicious chinese delicacies that she would prepare every now and then
memories of the sweet aroma of kopi-o that we would smell every morning
memories of the ever special homemade ba cang that we would all look forward to
memories of the warm smile that she would give us everytime we step into the house
memories of the ever famous quote "siao okui (crazy tortoise)" that she would utter to us whenever anyone of us gets into mischief

memories that would last
along with the one regret that i have inside of me
all these years
a lesson well learned