the more conversation, the more misunderstanding. the more trust, the more lies i discover. the more hope, the more disappointment.
i am done talking. done explaining. done voicing out all my dissatisfaction or when i'm being upset.
because despite the many times of attempt, it always end up being useless.
never had i understand u, so why try so hard now?
Showing posts with label self rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self rant. Show all posts
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
abscence of mind
some people give you warmth
some people give you courage
some give you the tenderness of love
some give you the support of a lifetime
some give you the all-time laughter
some bring tears of happiness
but what happens when all you do is receive and not give any?
tired of trying. tired of listening. tired of explaining. halfheartedly, bits by bits, my presence vanish.
some people give you courage
some give you the tenderness of love
some give you the support of a lifetime
some give you the all-time laughter
some bring tears of happiness
but what happens when all you do is receive and not give any?
tired of trying. tired of listening. tired of explaining. halfheartedly, bits by bits, my presence vanish.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Attempt #2: Confessions of a loser in the making
assignments suck this semester. the easier it gets, the higher the expectation. this time, it sucks to the max. everything don't seem to go on smoothly. software expired, things left pending. urrrgghh!~ now i wish all these softwares are ready installed in order for me to finish my work.
nothing seems to be going on smoothly anyways. so easily given up on, that shows how much it is worth. guess i would just need to move on bit by bit.
assumed i could hold on but looks like i failed. what is the point anyway? didn't really matter since the beginning. don't make any difference. self comfort since the beginning. doubting here and there every now and then. don't seem to have a full stop to this, do we?
trap in the middle. uncertain of what i want.
nothing seems to be going on smoothly anyways. so easily given up on, that shows how much it is worth. guess i would just need to move on bit by bit.
assumed i could hold on but looks like i failed. what is the point anyway? didn't really matter since the beginning. don't make any difference. self comfort since the beginning. doubting here and there every now and then. don't seem to have a full stop to this, do we?
trap in the middle. uncertain of what i want.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
a little different this time...
everyone was dressed at their best. the long awaited time to mark the beginning of a new year. the anxiety. butterflies in the stomach, busy busy day ahead on the eve itself. when the day arrives, nothing was looked forward to except for the presence of family members from near and far. and when the clock strikes 8 and you know that it's dinnertime, you were all smiles and nothing but excitement.
but how could excitement last when it wasn't a whole. the circle that was once a complete one has now become one that has holes in between. the space that were left there just like that, the gap that were created among one another. how could a new year ever be awesome with the absence of your loved ones. family warmth, togetherness was one of the main purpose of the day. but what is the meaning of something when it goes missing?
those that were once mine, disappear this time around. those that is not seen coming, appear altogether. a little different this time...routines all turn around, surprises appear now and then.
how would next year be?
but how could excitement last when it wasn't a whole. the circle that was once a complete one has now become one that has holes in between. the space that were left there just like that, the gap that were created among one another. how could a new year ever be awesome with the absence of your loved ones. family warmth, togetherness was one of the main purpose of the day. but what is the meaning of something when it goes missing?
those that were once mine, disappear this time around. those that is not seen coming, appear altogether. a little different this time...routines all turn around, surprises appear now and then.
how would next year be?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
It's that time again!!! :D
and the clock strikes midnight, marking the very first day of the long awaited Chinese New Year!!!
awesome awesome!!! best part of the day is not the red packets, not the ba kuas (though i did pester mum a lot on getting them), the oranges, the constant loaded yee sang..but highlight of the festival is the warmth among everyone. the laughter, the non-stop nonsensical jokes cracked and the fact that everyone took the effort to come all the way back wherever they are. though this year is a little different from each year, reunion dinner is just as much fun :) simple dinner but staring at everyone and seeing them laugh, simplicity is the best.
big big day tomorrow!! and i can hear all the fireworks out there...makes me even more eager to see all the firecrackers all put out on the 9th day:) last year was awesome, wonder if this year it would be the same *fingers crossed* ahhh..how can i miss out on the purpose of the season.. FOOOD!!~ ba kuaass, yeeee saanng, oranges, cooooookkiiieesss!!! :D mannn....merely just thoughts and i'm already droooliing!
darn!! being sick on such days is soo potong...no cold drinks, no this, no that...cheh. i shall redeem all these once i'm well :)
ooo pai nien!! translate : house visiting!! yeay!! whatever it is...it's that time again!!! so GONG XI FA CAI to all of u out there! Have an awesome pawesome year fill with abundance of magnificent stuff and all bad stuff bub bye! :) Waabbitt year shall be a year of HUAT for y'all!!
Gong Xi Gong Xi!!
till' then, Chaoz!~
awesome awesome!!! best part of the day is not the red packets, not the ba kuas (though i did pester mum a lot on getting them), the oranges, the constant loaded yee sang..but highlight of the festival is the warmth among everyone. the laughter, the non-stop nonsensical jokes cracked and the fact that everyone took the effort to come all the way back wherever they are. though this year is a little different from each year, reunion dinner is just as much fun :) simple dinner but staring at everyone and seeing them laugh, simplicity is the best.
big big day tomorrow!! and i can hear all the fireworks out there...makes me even more eager to see all the firecrackers all put out on the 9th day:) last year was awesome, wonder if this year it would be the same *fingers crossed* ahhh..how can i miss out on the purpose of the season.. FOOOD!!~ ba kuaass, yeeee saanng, oranges, cooooookkiiieesss!!! :D mannn....merely just thoughts and i'm already droooliing!
darn!! being sick on such days is soo potong...no cold drinks, no this, no that...cheh. i shall redeem all these once i'm well :)
ooo pai nien!! translate : house visiting!! yeay!! whatever it is...it's that time again!!! so GONG XI FA CAI to all of u out there! Have an awesome pawesome year fill with abundance of magnificent stuff and all bad stuff bub bye! :) Waabbitt year shall be a year of HUAT for y'all!!
Gong Xi Gong Xi!!
till' then, Chaoz!~
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