First attempt : Confession of a pathetic inexpressive brat

so unpredictable things are these days. lead life like there's no tomorrow they say.
true indeed.

classes started. acts of skipping classes are sure to be found. not exactly the best student around but there is a limit that i know of so scrape that off.
a little different this time around. first few weeks of classes ; i usually bring the clueless and absent minded me along. this time, still blur at times but at least i'm not clueless. so that's a good start for the semester, i suppose.
disasters in Japan is the current talk of the town. unpredictable, very unpredictable. so random that it makes people think and agree more on the whole ideology of living life to the fullest.
one minute you're enjoying the usual morning coffee, the very next you maybe lying on the floor; unconscious.
that might be me there. not being morbid, but that's the truth. i live the very moment of life know, blogging. will i survive the next moment - who knows?
anyways, skip that shall we?

death. tragedy. tears. lost. how much can one actually take in anyway?
i may not know how it truly feels but losing something so precious, that's definitely a heartache.
materials can be replaced but the thing that is truly valuable and irreplaceable is that very person. this i dare to say; i know, been there, still feeling the pain, trying to recover. there are still tears every now and then. hanging on i am. i did my mistakes, that i will admit. i'll brush off every single inch of ego that i have inside of me and say it out loud. i did mistakes, i admit em' and its taking a toll on me. nonetheless, as much as those tears makes me feel alright for a moment in time, i will no longer ponder about it. self comfort it is, but it's the price to pay.

devastated. disappointment. disagreement. anger. they are all numb now. expectations. hopes. they are no longer around. these days, things are so vague. that very stab through that i feel every now and then, i had never felt so real before until that day. would not push no more. would not ask no more. i don't even have the guts to demand, what more ask. would not hope no more because i'll always end up in a sigh. how can one actually love and hate another at the same time?
at this point, i don't even know what i want anymore nor do i know what i need anymore.

funny huh? the once super optimistic person is actually pouring all of these here. this might be the very last post (if anyone reads anyway). my very first attempt to be so personal here but heyy, since it's my blog and this might be the very last emo one, so why not?

to start anew i will. so the very next time, there might be a new link, maybe not. yess, i'm fickle minded when it comes to this so bear with me :)

gonna move on. focus focus focus. studies, assignments, things that i wanna do and learn, i shall do it, if time and money allow me to ;) *gotta be a little realistic under certain circumstances* i'll live life to the fullest. i'll lead life like there's no tomorrow; because life is just too short. so yup, that's it. till' then, chaoz :D