Go The Distance

it's 2 am in the morning

and i don't seem to be able to shut my eyes

even in the midst of darkness

a mind full of so many thoughts

another sleepless nights i guess

time flies

owh yes

it definitely does

just a year ago

during this time of the year

i was anticipating the festive season with full excitement

while waiting patiently for another 4 months to pass

alas. the long awaited 4 months did past in a blink of an eye

and i found myself

in a whole new environment

and meeting a whole bunch of new peeps

i would lie to you

if i would say that they are just another bunch of friends i hung out with

because they are not

you see

they are mixture of different individuals

did they change the way i see things?

yes they did.

did they bring a difference to my social circle?

definitely.

times we all shared together were as priceless as other memories of mine

rare moments we had

all the laughters, misunderstandings and madness

you must be wondering

what was it that kept me awake at this hour

thoughts as i say

thoughts and realisation that came to me

of some of them leaving

i do know that this is a norm amongst us

as studies are normally the one main reason of all these departures that's going on

but one can't stop but to feel fear

fear of loneliness

i dare admit

fear of losing in touch

i have the guts to say

i experienced the very first person's departure

lysa's departure

before she left

all i felt was "ahh, it's just 4 years. she's gonna be back before i even know it"

but that didn't last long

i didn't feel all that comfortable nor comforting any longer

when i reach home that night

after sending her off

and now

all of these negative emotions of mine

starts to build inside of me

as more and more of them are one step to the airport as time passes

next will be zaim, then suet, then deidre

and soon it will be az or perhaps more that i have not known yet

i may be looking forward to another whole new chapter that's coming pretty soon

but definitely not something to hoo ha about anymore

since i'll be missing all these kaki's

~ sucky feeling ~