whispers...

someone whisper to me
are you happy?
and i answered proudly
i am!
how can i not be?
i get what i want
i have all the neccessities i need
so why not?

and it whispers back
are you sure?
and i raise my voice
and said
yes i am!

and then it disappears
silence
and when silence crawls
i start thinking
am i reallllly that happy?
i question myself

i am
i told myself
i am
i convince myself
i am
i persuade myself
really now?

and then all i could hear was the clock ticking
i shut my eyes and hoping to fall asleep
but it wouldn't allow me to
it would go on and on
asking me the question over and over again
forcing an answer out of me
and i already did
so why are you not satisfied?

it would never let go
never did it once
let me go
over and over again
question after questions

if you are
why are your eyes watery?
if you are
why are you so miserable right now?
if you are
why can i sense fear inside of you?
if you are
why do you startle when you speak?

who are you deceiving?
why are you lying to yourself?
speak your mind
speak what you want

and when i try to
i can't
i just couldn't reach my voice
i just couldn't force it out
the next thing i know
i feel nothing but warm drops trickling down my cheeks....